I'm sure it was meant to help.
Don't get me wrong, it was good to get the words out...
It was good to process the thoughts out loud in the real world.
I have a tendency of over analyse things, hard to believe I know.
But there was nothing she had said that I hadn't already thought about...
The trouble is...
I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I am actually pregnant.
Surreal might be the word.
Don't get me wrong.
Extending our family is one thing that I want to do.
A sibling for our son.
Another child to share our love and life with.
But with so many failed attempts. I cant help but hold onto a little hope that this one will work in our favour.
All tho, the docs have said we are out of the woods and we are able to enjoy the process now.
I am just having trouble attaching to the idea.
I am trying to think back when I was pregnant with our first son as to whether I felt this way about the whole process.
I am not 20 weeks yet.
I have not had THAT major scan yet.
I have sort of come to the conclusion that once I have the scan, I will come to terms with it all and start 'enjoying the process'.
But...
I don't want to weigh to much on this scan.
We have had discussions on names. As if that isn't hard enough.
I went to a baby sale at the local department store and it was all very overwhelming.
We went to a major baby supply store and had a look at the pram I wanted to get.
I was promised a new pram during the past year, I love the pram we have now, our son is still able to go in it at the age he is and still has room to grow so to speak.
So I am looking at just getting the same one just a newer version.
We asked a staff member all the questions that you ask when upgrading.
We were ready to buy, but we didn't commit to it.
I forgot the bassinet that was with the original pram that we have to see if it was compatible.
It was my out, an exit strategy.
So I didn't have to commit just yet.
I want nothing more then another child.
I want nothing more then a large family.
I want nothing more then this...
I was once told by a very smart lady;
ReplyDelete"you're pregnant for 9 months for a reason.
To get used to the idea"
Take your time. there is no rush. You dont need the pram for ages(or anything else). Just let it grow on you.