Lighter then I thought...

Okay this week has been a big week for me. 

The weeks gone fast

Master R as challenging

He was also unwell

I set myself a challenge

People have been supportive

I have learnt more about myself in the last week then I thought I would have.

I had moments of self doubt

I got messages of love...

Honey I’m crying right now! It is absolutely heartbreaking what you are going through my darling, and what you will continue to go through.

You are incredibly strong, you inspire me to always be stronger. You are like a rock to everyone around you, and I think it’s time people around you lent you some of their strength. You will probably need it.

I want to be here for you, for anything and everything you need. I have your back, I’m in your corner and I will not let you throw in the towel! I am certain there are many around you who will do the same. You are so very loved Tara, don’t ever doubt that.

I want to give you a big hug right now! Ok, when are you free so we can have a good chat about this? I’m free tonight....

Love ya guts gorgeous girl XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Just what I needed. HONESTLY.

 

Then it felt like I had a bit of 'buyers remorse' you know the whole... OMG what have I done! why did I just do that! GAH.

 

ANYWAYS...

 

I spoke to the gym, I booked an appointment with the food coach 

I went to said appointment. 

I was given lots LOTS of information. 

This information was then explained. 

Sometimes I'm a bit dense especially when I'm anxious.

THEN it was the time for the weigh in and measure... dum dum duuuuuum...

HA!

Turns out. Not only am I lighter then I thought. I was a whole 5 FIVE kilos lighter then when I was weighed in for my surgery I had on the second of December last year! 

 

BONUS! 

 

I was CERTAIN that I had put on a bazillion kilos since Christmas. 

A BAZILLION!

So I walked away happy with that {I think}... mulling over the information I had just been given.

 

Thank fully there was a friend home who was up for a chat, to share overwhelming information with, while the kids played. 

ALSO just what I needed. 

THANK YOU for your support so far my loves.

Make way for change

Im not big on change, don't like it, never have. But something has to give. Right?

When the year was just a freshy, when the dust and smoke was still settling on the HAPPY NEW YEAR partays Husby and I sat around the table in our lounge and wrote resolutions which we called Goals individual ones for the two of us {we like to see each other as two ppl} and some as a family {the family unit is important also.}

I have never done it before. Sure when asked in the past we've probably mumbled the usual

Stop eating crap

Loose the Chrissy kilos

Exercise more.

This year was a bit different more individually orientated not what I thought others wanted to hear. Some points are similar to Husby's some are WAYYYY different. 

Here are some of what I wrote down

1} Be more organised

2} Make better food choices

3} Be the person I would want to meet

4} Get my Fiji body on

5} Learn to love myself

6} Be with those who also want to be with me

7} Stop disappointing myself

I am sharing for a reason. If you know then I have to do something right?

Well I am slowly taking charge of my organising

I have started making better choices in food especially when it comes to my allergies.

Has for the Fiji body, well I go for walks most days... if its not raining.

As for everything else its sort of out the window. Its March, almost the end of March actually and I think its fair to say that not much else has happened.

I've been in a bit of a funk lately which has made me regroup, re-assess, start again

One thing that didn't make the list I believe because its too painful is - extend the family

Yep we have trouble in this department I've heard it all really, It'll happen when you relax about it

It'll happen when you stop thinking about it

Take these drugs
Take these herbs
Take these vitamins

Have you considered alternatives

Put your legs up in the air

Everybody around us is having, has had, is lucky to have extended their families. 

We have one beautifully healthy, gorgeously mannered, funny, musically oriented son and we are grateful for him every day BUT we would love to give him a sibling.

When we first started planning our family we were planning on having the children around 2 to 2.5 years apart. Funny thing about plans they don't always work.

We have been told that our first born is some what of a miracle and that we may not be able to conceive successfully again.

Funny word success.

So.

As I mentioned 2 and a half out of 6 goals are underway. This week THAT is CHANGING I have kept the same goals Im just looking at them differently.
If I get my Fiji body on I will Stop disappointing myself, Learn to love myself and be the person that I would want to meet.

There, 4 goals in 1

No pressure

So

To get my Fiji body on I set my self a challenge and it has a,

• - Length of time - 10 Weeks
• - Goal - 20 kilos
• - That was daunting- So I broke it down p/w now its not so daunting
• - To ask for help

Yesterday I asked a dear friend for help. Im not good at that. Don't think I have EVER done it before. I said, among many things...

... Im sick of always feeling lousy about myself and the factors of not being able to have another baby are playing on my mind...

She said YES {phew I was expecting rejection so that made my night}

Today I asked for help from family and another dear friend.
Okay its all in the open now. All eyes are on me.

Today is the day of change.

Today I am forcing myself to use whats left of my Gym membership and use it good. There is exactly enough weeks left as per my challenge, coincidence maybe, sign DEFINITELY.

You all know now So I have to do something about it. Watch this space WATCH IT! You never know I may just surprise you

BE GONE BAD WAYS

BE GONE!

I WELCOME THE NEW ME WITH OPEN ARMS

Who knows... maybe if I relax enough in Fiji and hold my legs up just right... you never know.

Wish me luck.

From the mouths of babes sometimes hurts

The other day Master R all of 2 years and 9 months turned at me and said this...

... Mumma I have a little brother too? Like yayay me to Mumma please...

Enter heartbreaking sounds here

Yep that hurt sent me to tears. I put it on Facebook I got an out poor of love. But no one TRULY gets it, because

The conversation didn't stop there, he wanted explanation, he wanted an answer. SO in my best I'm not crying on the inside voice I explained loosely that there weren't any minis on the way soon {as much as we would like}

He doesn't need to know it all he doesn't need to know the struggle we are having conceiving. He doesn't need to know about the baby's we have lost along the way. He doesn't need to know that the whole subject gets me in a funk every time something new comes along. He doesn't need to know about the 16 SIXTEEN tests I had last year. He doesn't need to know that the docs think that he may have been a miracle.

The other day I read a blog post about success. What is success.

As she wrote she wasn't into the whole corporate job shiny car sort of biz and neither am I

All I can ever remember when in school and ppl were talking about careers and uni's I was sitting there thinking thats not for me. What is for me is a big troop of kids, a busy house, a tired Mumma and Dad, a dog or two, school drop offs/pick ups, kinder meetings. Swim meets, sports practice, noise, LOVE.

But alas its just not on the cards for us right now. sigh.

That day I saw this

Cant find the original source, shame cos its fabulous

It got me thinking... I think a change is in order

F.Y.I this might be T.M.I

The past couple of weeks months have been tough {I've mentioned it briefly before I know} but for some reason I feel like writing about it.

I have medical issues... I see the doc a lot... A LOT
{FYI i DISLIKE waiting rooms it wouldn't be an odd sight to see me with 3 THREE bottles of hand sanitizer in my car}
 
I have germ issues... Ive been heard to say "I don't do germs"
 
I have trouble expressing myself to ppl for fear of conflict/judgement
 
I get along better with guys then girls, just the way it is I guess.

but in saying that...
I have always had trouble with friends... I don't know its just me and since having my son Ive learnt a lot about me and this is just one of those things... 
 
I have this friend Ive known her for a long time. She would be my longest friend bar maybe a handful from high school that I have recently gotten back in contact with.
 
When asked to describe me. She would IMMEDIATELY say without hesitation, without a bat of the eye lid... 
'oh Tara, shes a Prude [PAUSE] and a Bitch [PAUSE] BUT she is incredibly shy'
...righto...
...Cant argue with that...

Love that girl

I was bullied throughout my ENTIRE schooling life

I FEAR that my son will have the same issues as me {friends wise/school wise} WHICH brings tears to my eyes just thinking about.

Choosing the right kinder & school is BIG on my list right now

Im emotional. The doc says thats got to do with my issues, but I've been a 'oh my god Oprah {spelt HARPO to make sure I had that right just then} just gave them all a car, Dr Chris just saved that puppy, Oh my god I hate that work safe ad' Crier all my life.

I have weight issues which is a combination of health issues from above and chocolate

When starting this blog I was unsure how I was to use it

* how much do I share

* does anyone care how much I share

* does any one care what I have to say

Then I thought I read other blogs A LOT lately some have helped, some have been purely for the step out of reality for a second type of entertainment  some have sparked my creative side.

So maybe my odd ramblings might help someone else... maybe, & if not at least my self.

I know I have tickets on myself and consider myself TOTALLY AMAZEBALLS! {word of the month you should join the club we're printing t-shirts} But there are days where things just feel like I get so far from the start and have to go back & and basically rethink and start again. 

IF ONLY MY FINGERS WOULD WORK PROPERLY. Im sitting here wrapped in a blanket with my little icicles fingers sticking out the front REFUSING to put the heater on because I refuse to believe the warmth is over AND I don't want to wake my loves snoring in the next room.

Anyways...

I made myself write a list of things I love and Not so Love about myself.

You know what its hard to write about what I genuinely love about myself.... Not so love, well I feel I could write a page in one motion but to sit and generally write about what i love... geebus... thats hard.

I would have loved to write a list of things to go below of all the soppy love love stuff that I do love/like blah blah but Im a realist and Im not there right now.

YOUR RAMBLING TARA

Right sorry

SO I came up with this...

My name is Tara, 

I'm a Gemini [explains a lot]  

I am almost 27 TWENTY SEVEN!

I slightly freaked about that last night at about 3.30 thats the first time I've ever freaked about my age.

I love LOVE my family of three, colour, paper, clouds and bubbles, I am not seen without a camera in hand/pocket/bra strap/bag. 

I love to cook/bake and get pleasure from ppl enjoying something that I have made from scratch.

I love the warmth of the sun on my back and the freedom of the beach. 

I am lucky enough to be a full time mum at home while my wonderful husby works his but off for us.

Some of that was slightly about me...right?

I have set myself some challenges/promises this week. 

Various things... Things for myself... Things that I hope make me love things about me...HA!

Im hoping to blog a bit more...
time with a busy two year old is a bit scarce but I'll make it work after all I am AMAZEBALLS{t-shirts}.

Challenge/Promise 1- Sort out all the photos on the bottom shelf in the craft cupboard {wish I had taken a photo... kinda forgot about that bit tho}

Challenge/Promise 2- get up to date with my sons albums... THAT IS 2 YEARS and {wait 6,7,8} NINE MONTHS worth of stuff/photos to sort, organise, prioritise all that bizzo.

Challenge/Promise 3- Do those scrap-booking layouts that when you took the photos you said "that'd be good to scrap like this" for some reason that said in a high pitched voice

Challenge/Promise A- Make a decorative piece for the home

Challenge/Promise B- Get the sewing machine OUT and make the things that you wanted to make with the material that you bought a cpl of weeks ago... its RED like FIRE ENGINE red.

Okay so reality is... there is a high like Eureka tower high possible chance that these may not be done in a week... BUT I Started the first three on Friday soooo things are looking UP!

Stick with me...please... <<<this IS going to be fun>>>

What do you do thats just for you?

How do you get yourself out of THAT rut?

Would L.O.V.E to hear from you...

Right Im off to edit some photos for my PL week :)

Tara x

Easter Crafts

Hiya!

Its a cold and shivery day here but am I not surprised it was hot yesterday so its to be expected with Melbourne weather.

We have been doing some Easter crafts in between the other regular crafts that we do.

We've had a good time doing them, bopping to music and having a laugh. Seriously who cant laugh when the person doing the crafts is being a digger... I said DIGGER! obsessed much.

Below are some of the things that we have done.

Egg chain...

Easter eggs on a chain... LOVE. Ill have to upload a pic later as its in bubs room and hes sleeping right now

 I got this printable download for the eggs from here.

Bunny...

This I drew myself! LOVE it and the way it came out.

 We have used the bunny a couple of times so far, one here...

Fluffy bunny...

SO CUTE

 Easter chicks...

The paints are usually a lot brighter and I wasn't feeling it so we added some white to the paint to lighten them and I love the way they look now

I got the above printable from here 

And here is the bunny from above in use again...

Colourful Bunny...

crepe paper cut up thinly and the 'digger' went to work

So where do we put all these amazing creations you ask well...

They are here...

As I have mentioned before we have an itty bitty house and we make things work for us. This area is literally as you walk in the door. Which I love because we see all of this Easter goodness right as you walk in. The desk is an old coffee table with wicker baskets in the bottom of it and it fits in this area perfectly and has been his drawing table for as long as he could stand and draw. 

I'm big on having a space for children to have a place to express themselves when ever he has the need and I find he uses this space several times a day. 

This morning I found him cutting paper and putting it into the money box as 'money' and yes I said cutting {with real scissors} he was taught at a young age how to use them safely and we are super proud of him. This week we are promoting independence and thats were it led him this morning.

We also made this...

I drew the egg. It wasn't hard really its an egg shape.

It goes here...

This is also in our entry and opposite the drawing table from above.
There is the egg beside the fish tank and a jar full of 'egg' just for an extra special touch.

I love the way our little bit of decorating has changed the entry to our home. I have some more things planned.

Do you decorate for Easter? If so how?

Any questions about the above crafts or the links please ask below.

Thanks for stopping by

Tara x

PL week Mon12th to Sun18th March 2012

Bloggger is having issues apparently it wants to start with photos tonight. WORK WITH NOT AGAINST AS I ALWAYS SAY...
Right hand side. {sorry about the crookedness} from top left. Shopping day. Me. A journalling block. Sunday traditions. Thru the middle is the shopping receipt my son I waiting in the car. One of my favourite Teas at the mo. And a drawing from my son

My son playing guitar, a digi journalling block and Soccer time. thru the middle a new ap game the journaling for the three photos thru the middle, the BEST strawberries, and I found summer

Close up for the digi layout. and the journalling I inked the edges. I love this technique it's something Ive always done in my SB and I think it just gives that something extra

Close up of soccer time and the strawberries and the I found summer block. Used a digi clementine card and had it printed on photo paper

My son is slightly obsessed with guitars and he has an actual guitar but this one is a bit easier to hold

My insert is a WRMK protector and I added sand from the beach for the moment I have it stuck with regular wrapping tape until my order from Polka Dot Creative comes to my door and I can use this washi tape

the other side of my right side of my week

the journalling block is double sided and I used the stickers from the kit to make a little tab that I wrote pullout onto its not ideal but I think I like it.

6x12 of my son. I put a digi border around it because I thought it needed something else

Again with the 6x12 this time at the beach and I also added a border to this one so that it was uniform with the first

This is looking at the whole front of the insert. as I said earlier I had added sand. Also added lots of photos from our Sunday Funday.

This is the back side of the insert it is of the boys getting their haircuts. They let RJ draw on the mirror {as per his request} they love him there and he loves going there.

 Okay sorry about the randomness of the photos but I had so much trouble getting the photos up as it was I was just happy that they got there I just went with the flow in the end.

I had an amazing weekend {after a really rough and emotional few weeks} and I think/hope I captured that with my inserts. 

I did a few different things to the actual week layout and I am L.O.V.I.N.G the way that it looks. 

Any questions with anything from above or the link that I have mentioned please give us a shout below. Hope you enjoyed having a squiz now I am off to do the house work that I didnt get done today before my husband puts a lock on my craft cupboard lol as if. hahaha

Night guys x

MY craft space

Hi again guys.

As promised here's a quick look at my craft space. As it is right now. Its not much but it works for me. 

I have a itty bitty house and all the rooms are purposed and we don't have a study or study type area. So this area is at one end of our lounge room.

We have to make things work for us basically if it doesn't
multi-purpose it is no good to us.

Okay so I use the top shelf of the toy cabinet which my Husby made {clever isn't he}

Excuse the toys, as I said I share my space.

Bit of a closer look. I keep most of my 'newer' papers at hand in some of the Becky Higgins boxes {LOVE} There is always an album on the printer. My sons art work in the frame leaning on the wall, some jars with ribbon and inks. The nappy box {wish I had something classier but its perfect for what I need} is full of packets of page protectors, ephemera and folders that have my sons ephemera in it by year.

As you can see I have plenty of space} to work in the middle {when the papers are not there}

And the whole are is perfect standing height so Im not always sitting which I LOVE.

Just another shot of the other side there is the comp desk {which my Husby also made} where I do my digi stuff and my little cabinet which can pull out and 'extend' the comp desk if I need it.
The top draw is for all my tools and necessity second is full of embellishments third is photos and forth fits TWO Becky Higgins Core Kits  The little pink folder tucked down the side is FULL of all sorts of 12x12 papers.

Well thanks again for stopping by, hope you enjoyed.

How do you make your craft space work.

Thanks

Tara x