Tuesday, 6 May 2014

[Finnley] 10 months earth side.

Ten months with you. 

 Finnley. You have now been officially earth side longer then in utero. 

 I have said it many times before, but life truly is better with you in it. 

The road has been tough... Obstacles bigger then my new(again) Mumma brain could 
 Deal with.  

 But we did.  

 We got here... 

 But not just you and I. 

With your brother as well... He has helped lead you astray, showing you the things that you shouldn't do... Cheeky things, sometimes naughty. 

But the smile you have reserved for him... Especially first thing in the morning or at kinder pick up... Is BIGGER then all the other smiles you have.  

 You adore your Dad. He works hard and he and you often miss out on seeing each other. Especially in your littler days. But when you do spot him... It's all eyes on Dad... Grunting until he picks you up. A quick cuddle and then you want back in my arms. 

You're a cheeky little man.  

 You still feed from me. Somedays more then others. You are up (to often) during the night. Just like your brother did... So I know (and I am hoping) that there is an end.  

 You still are not partial to food... But you will try things. You especially love it when you have food to feed yourself. 

Yoghurt... Especially the strawberry variety... YOUR FAVOURITE!!!  

 Your laughter... Slightly raspy and chuckley and so flipping adorable. I make you laugh at every chance I can.  

 The bananas in pyjamas grab your attention like nothing else... Though Peppa and Ben and Holly are not far behind.  

 You have what I call items of affection, something random that you will literally carry around all day...
Most of the time it's an oversized fire hose from the duplo range. In other days. It's Eva's (from walle) body. Or a peg... Or just anything that grabs your love for that day. 

You crawl, you sit and you walk around the furniture all on your own.  

You adore the water... Especially your swimming lessons.  

You are shy around people, people you don't know... But especially with people you haven't seen for a while, the confusion in your face, as if to say 'I know you... But from where???' 

You growl. At things that displease you. All the time. You also have a 'disapproval face' where you scrunch up your face and stick out your lips and breath fast and heavily through your nose.

After dinner each and everyday. You screech until I let you out of your chair... You head for the hallway and you play... And play and play... There is a special box of toys in your room that you tip over and play with only at this time... You race your brother, you laugh, you crash, you fall... You explore just a little bit more, discovering all of the things... Again or for the first time. This is really starting to become a bit of a tradition.  

And then when the bath starts running you hit the bathroom door and yell at it until it is ready and you are allowed in... Where you splash. And splash. And laugh and splash.  

Finnley, life really truly TRULY is better with you in it.  

Thank YOU for choosing me... 

Thank YOU for choosing US.  

 LOVE Mumma xxxx 

Sunday, 4 May 2014

[The 52 project] 18/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week for 2014."

Finnley- Lets just talk about your hair for a second. It goes every which way... even up, and it reminds me a lot of my own. The sides are trying to sort out whether it is going to be curly or not. You have INSANE bed hair, and I have shared my fair share of crazy do's on instagram. The bald patch at the back in the centre has only really just started to fill in this week. But this bit at the back... its a cow-lick... with a massive curl, which sticks up at the end. AND I ADORE IT!

Ronan- You stopped. Not for long. But long enough for me to see you relax.

The 52 Project by Practising Simplicity 
Click the photo below to see more about it.

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Thank you.

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Not broken... just bent

Yes this was published the other day... but only for a short time... I chickened out and pulled it down... but now I think it is time.

When one is faced with a decision, that they never thought they would have to even contemplate.

It is easier just to run and to just hide... to shut it all down and just wish it would all go away.

And last year that is exactly what happened. 

When my youngest babe was just a mere 15 weeks, I discovered that my Husband had been doing things that a Husband... a committed one... should not have been doing.

He made the wrong choices, and those choices have affected our marriage, our family and our way of life.

The last 6 months has been hard. 

Bloody hard.

There have been more bad days then good.

And that sucks... it feels as if my babes first year has been marred in some way

There have been days where I have not wanted to leave the house. 

So we don't... 

There have been days where I have challenged myself. 

There have been days were I have thought... this is just too much, it shouldn't be like this... there has to be better out there... better people who would make better choices.

Promises have been made / broken / and re made all over again... because we are learning, we are just two people, who are just trying to figure out how to make it right.

You are right... I probably should of just left, why should I put up with that shiz...

Well I made a commitment, and yes he did too. But... I think and feel it is worth... just trying to work it out.

And at the end of the day... 

There was love there once, and I am sure it is still there somewhere...

But when ones trust has been broken...

It just might take some time to learn to love again. 


Posts that have lead to this one... here and here

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