SO Random

I haven't been around for a bit lately and when I said to my husband... 

"I'm a bit stuck, what do you think I should blog about, everybody writes about all these awesome things and I'm at a bit of a loss with it all... perhaps I should get out more... "

Lol long winded request of information wasn't it?
I do that.

He just stared and said...

"Well its obvious isn't it... write about how awesome macawesome I am..."

hrrrrm hrrrrm

TICKETS PLEASE!

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But you know what...
He IS awesome, 

Ive been so not with 'IT' whatever it is this past week and he has been there every step of the way.
Stepping in when I needed him around the home or with our son.

Giving me lots of extra BIG squishy hugs when I had tears.

AND {this is the best bit}

When our son goes to bed and its time for relax mode he has kept me thinking, busy and talking so that I dont get to lost in my thoughts.

Just what I needed.

Thank you husby be for being the awesome person that you are and putting up with me...

What would you like to see on the blog?

Do YOU have any tips for a new blogger who is trying to find her feet in the blogesphere?
Does your Husband/Partner pick you up when you are feeling low?

Would love to hear from you x

Flashback Friday

I like the idea of Flashback Friday,

I just have to remember to do it... lol


So anyways, lets flashback to the moment I became a Wife.

Have a great day x

{Keeping it real} WHERE am I?

Where am I you ask?

 Well I'm here...

It's crazy how being crazy busy for a couple of days can really get me behind in this room.

Sigh.

So if you dont here from me in a couple of hours send a search party, but dont look to hard Ill probably be asleep on top.

Have a great day guys x

Sweet start to the day...

I bake often...

But not religiously.

I haven't bake for a while according to the Husband and a while would be about a week.

I have this go to recipe that I got from the Stay At Home Mum's Website if you haven't been there to have a squiz I totally recommend having a look. They have helped us out personally with lots of meals and budgeting tips... I digress...

SO my go to recipe is what they call 120 Biscuits for less than $5

We just call them biccies.

I stay true to the recipe which is,

500gms of butter

1 Can of condensed milk

5 Cups of SR flour
1 Cup of Sugar

Cream the butter and sugar then mix in the rest...
simple fast and easy just the way I like it.

Any way this morning, there was yet another comment from the Husband who had is head so far in the pantry that all I could see was his fine bum sticking out this vision still cracks me up cos its like he was being swallowed whole! So from the muffling surrounds of flour, sugar, pasta and the like. I heard WHAT should I take for snacks today?

Right thats it get outta the way and before I knew it I was creaming butter and sugar before I could say would you like some biscuits DEAR? through gritted teeth of course!

So with my littlest helper in tow I was tripping over lunch boxes, toasters and little fingers pinching the creamed butter but I survived.

The bit I love most about this recipe is that it can be frozen and it defrosts and cooks beautifully after being frozen unlike some disasters

Im the best iphoneographer EVER!

  So the quantity above makes about six weeks of biscuits which is great for this budget wielding Mumma.

By 8 o'clock this morning I had a dozen piping hot yummyness cooling on the kitchen bench. To bad hubby has already gone to work...

What a sweet start to the day.

Have a great day peeps x

Oh before I go I add Cadbury cooking chocolate, Glace' cherries and roughly chopped unsalted peanuts to the mixture before freezing and cooking.

I TOTALLY recommend giving that combo a go... I is AMAZING!

Not sponsored by anyone other then myself.

What is your go to recipe?
Do you loose your husband in the pantry or am I the only one?

This week...{C&T est' 02}

This week my now Husband and I have been together for 10 years!

HOLY CHEESEBALLS BATMAN!
TEN!

So much has happened with this man.

We met in year 7 we were 13.

We became friends.

It was always awkward.
But what part of high school isn't.

We were VERY different.

I grew up in a 'city' town and moved to a coastal village with my family when I was due to start high school.

He lived on a farm an hour away from my coastal village.

I rode bikes, ATV's and helped my dad with his small business every weekend and on holidays.

He had paddock bombs, motor bikes, tractors, animals and worked at a market garden when they needed him and at the local tractor mechanics each Saturday.
He liked that I could ride an ATV and had an understanding of car engines.
I liked the fact that he would talk to me like a normal person and not dumb down any part of knowledge that he knew and I didn't unless I asked.
Also the size of his shoulders and arms swoon
He dated everyone I knew.

I didn't.

He smoked

I didn't.
He was aloud to party

I wasn't.

We were also VERY much the same

We have a love for music

We both play an instrument

We share our love for cars.
We had already been friends for 5 years.

Our common ground was school.

He sent a text while I was working one night at a formal function at the school.

I need to talk to you about something important on Monday.

Kinda obvious huh?

My then REALLY good friend knew what was going on.
Her reaction also gave it away.

I told him that I was at work but he could call me when I got off.

He called.

The conversation was weird.

He ended up asking me out.

I EVENTUALLY said yes. lol.

We did our deb together. We were already deb partners.

He insisted on kissing me alllll the time. 

I don't do Public Displays Of Affection well
Year 12 started
We turned 18
We got our licenses 
I got VERY sick

I got better.

High school finished and he packed up and left for Uni in Central Victoria.
Some three hour drive away.

That was weird. 

Distance relationships are very hard

We almost didn't make it
My mum survived breast cancer and went into remission. 

I transferred my Tafe course.

I moved to Bendigo.

It was good.

I was at school full time and worked part time at a major craft store.

He was at school full time and worked part time at a powder coating place.

He liked clubbing and partying.

I didn't.
I went because he wanted me to. 

I despise crowds and the dark. Clubbing isn't really for me.

I was home sick.

I bought a dog. Her name is Tessah. 

She helped

Cash bought a car, it was a wreck. 

He fixed it and rebuilt it.

He loved it.

I loved it.
He wouldn't let me drive it.

I made friends.

Some of them are still my friends.

One of them I would call my best friend.

I miss her.

I moved back home, by myself.

I had a job lined up.

Cash got a job, he moved back home.

We lived with my folks till we got some money behind us to buy our first home.

We turned 21. We are four weeks apart.

I bought another dog. His name is Duke.

I bought a car.

I went to Europe.
He didn't

We bought our first home

His Favorite uncle died in the settlement period. That was a hard time.

We moved in

We got engaged.
I was making lunch.
Hes not really romantic but that's why I like him

We lost a baby.

We cried.

Our love changed

We contemplated getting married.
It didn't happen.

I lost another baby. More tears. Felt like I was failing a bit.

Our love changed again.

I left my job.

That was scary

I started a new job.
We needed to think about something else.

We booked our wedding reception for the middle of June the following year.

My best friend got married. It was beautiful.

LOVE that we are cracking up, over what I dont know but it must of been good.

We were both in the wedding party and I was honored to be her maid of honor.

I was pregnant and didn't know

The ultra sound tech said I was due the middle of June the following year.
The exact same day as the wedding.

I laughed.

People were shocked.

I wouldn't have changed a thing.
My mum's remission time finished win

My belly grew.

Look at my sexy bod-day!

Our love changed.

I changed the wedding date.

The wedding planner at the venue was fabulous.
She laughed with me

I had a wedding to plan

People tried to help because I was pregnant by taking over.

I stopped them from taking over.

I was pregnant not invalid

I had a car accident

We were fine.

The car not so much

It was fixed.

Baby was born

Mumma, Pappa & Baby Bear.

Our love changed a lot.

We got married ten weeks later.

It was fabulous.

The baby slept for most of the day.

We went on a small driving holiday for our honeymoon.
We made some changes to the house.
My best friend had her first baby 2 days before my baby turned one.

The baby turned one and so did our marriage.

I lost another baby. This is getting hard now.
I said goodbye to some one who was a friend.
Our love changed again.

We went on our first family holiday together.
That was so much fun.
We made more changes to the house.

The baby turned two and so did our marriage.

I lost another baby. sigh.
Friendships changed and grew stronger.
Our love changed again but I truly think its stronger then ever before.
We are now planning a major family holiday.
We are also planning on trying to extend our family again.
The anticipation of what could be is exciting
But as I said to a couple who are some great friends of ours the other day.
Its what could happen scares me away from going through the whole process again.
We have each other.

Ten years on...

Our love has changed more times then I can count.

I wouldn't have changed a thing

I love you Cash.

Mothers Day

It has been GREAT!

I love this photo. It really sums up our day. 

It was taken just after Master R unwrapped my gifts.

I dont care how blurry it is I dont care that we look half asleep.
I LOVE IT!

How was yours?

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day 

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Here where we are it is Mothers Day tomorrow.

Sending love to those who is celebrating their first or their 31st
Also sending love to those who have lost theirs.

Here's hoping you're spoiled.

That your day is ideal and full of love.

Lots of love the Everyday Happenings Crew.

xxxx

How do you celebrate Mothers Day?

Do you do the same thing every year?

Whats been your favourite gift so far?

How are you doin' Tarz?

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FYI this isn't my door BUT HOW AMAZEBALLS IS IT

I haven't been myself lately.
By lately I mean 6 or more months

I feel beaten down by the smallest things.

I feel people don't agree with my decision to be a stay at home mum full time 

{I was working part time but that wasn't working out} 

Lucky that wasn't their decision to make.

I cant believe that people make me feel guilty for doing the one thing that I have only ever wanted to do.

I feel as tho I owe everyone every part of me so that I feel happy that I am helping some one.

I find that I tuck myself away in my itty bitty house so that I don't have to feel like I owe people all of me

I don't feel as tho I am met half way

My Husband hates that

People make me feel bad for being over weight.

My husband hates that too

I feel guilty when people say that there is no one there for them when they are feeling down.

Its funny how I feel the exact same way. But in more aspects of life. No one is there when I am happy either. No-one ever says. How are you doing Tarz?

I make do, I love entertaining my son with weekly external activities and the activities that I learnt when I was working in Child Care all those years. I have mad skills but sometimes I have to hit up others for ideas and to do that it takes a couple of days to get the courage to do that because I feel like I have failed myself.

I hate that.

I see friends when I can. We keep busy everyday and my son enjoys that.

I am not to good with making/keeping friends.

Someone told me once that I need to learn how to be friends with more then one person at a time- this offended me.
I didnt even know I was doing that. 

It makes me sad to think I do that.

It has only made the whole situation worse I think

I have only ever wanted to be good to my friends and to be told that I wasn't giving them all of MY all saddened me greatly and made me retreat to my itty bitty house again.
I feel as tho no one wants to catch up with me unless I organise it first.
I hate that

Don't get me wrong I am happy with who I am. My family is happy and its full of love.

I don't think WE miss out on anything. Christ we are going on an overseas holiday in a few weeks. {YAY} but sometimes I feel as tho I.ME.TARA is missing out on something. 

I'm not sure what that is tho so for now we will leave that.

Last week I mentioned briefly that I wasn't in the right frame of mind to write a post that I had planned on doing. 

And I really wasn't the last couple of weeks have been really tough for me.

Really tough.

Hubby has been working his fine ass off to provide for us and has been away really late with work almost every night for a month or so. Hes also been pulling OT on Friday nights and Saturdays. He's a good man.

Hes also been away on commitments that were made months ago so it feels as tho I have been doing it on my own for a little while and this week and weekend are not going to be much different. Either are the next.
My hat goes off to those who do it on there own full time.

Its tough.

Im lucky to have a great little man who just roles with it and is generally really well behaved, that makes it a little easier.

Last weekend I was put in a situation where I was made to think where I am at with it all.

To be honest.

I'm over it.

I'm over the guilt, the guilt for being told I should of been there but I wasn't
The guilt of being told that I should be doing it another way.

The guilt of not going to things because people wanted me to and didnt because my needs or my sons needs came first.

There is so much more but I'm not going into it.

This week has been good.

Ive been looking/thinking in a different perspective.

We are happy and thats all that matters.

Things are going to change

I need to feel as tho I am met half way. If you give a little, you will get a little. 

Feel free to knock on my door anytime if you know where it is.

BUT remember my family will ALWAYS come first.

and you know what so will I.

x

Would love to hear from you, feel as tho I am talking to myself most days x

Yesterday

Yesterday...

Yesterday he was nervous.

Yesterday he questioned why I wasn't in my swimmers.

He asked why we were sitting in different seats to wait for our turn.

Yesterday he was worried.

Yesterday he walked with caution towards the pool.

Yesterday he didn't want to let go of my hand.

Yesterday he blew bubbles

Yesterday he dove with a kick board

Yesterday he tried new things that will become new skills

Yesterday he put his whole head underwater on his own terms

Yesterday he didn't panic

Yesterday I began my journey as a sideline Mumma.

Yesterday there may have been a slight amount of tears on the sideline 

as I realised how proud of my little man I am. 

x

Flashback Friday.

I had another post in mind for today, but I'm not in the right frame of mind so it'll have to wait for another day.

So with a bit of bloggy inspiration from a fellow blogger who is on a bloggy break at the moment I give you flashback Friday.

Lets Flashback all the way back to the beginning when I first became a Mumma.

x

It would seem I have 'okay' remorse.

This weekend is going to be tough.

It would seem I have 'okay' remorse. Its a bit like buyers remorse but when you say okay to something then when time comes closer to the fact you start regretting that decision. 

Hubby is going camping this weekend and it was organised last week this was before we didn't see him all last weekend and before he worked until 6-7 every night this week.

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He leaves at lunch time tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong I am more then happy for him to go and do the manly things that happens when you go camping with just a group of guys as apposed to when you camp with your family.

I also dont want to know what happens on those camping trips either with all the fart jokes and smelly boy stuff. blah.

But when it feels like I haven't seen him properly for over a week it starts to put a bit of a strain on things and considering how I think its starting to take and an affect on our son I say this because his behaviour has been more then testing which is not like our normal small male man.

It going to be hard for the small male man while his Dad's away they have a morning routine that they like to do things a certain way and they like to help each other make each others breakfast. While I lay in bed till 7.

SO you can see why this is going to be a tough weekend, who's going to let me lay in till 7 and more importantly who's going to make me my morning cup of TEA???

x

Going for a ride on a big Jet plane!

Image source unknown

In a few weeks we will be going on a big jet plane!

My son is for lack of a better word FREAKING EXCITED.

Hes been on planes before but can not remember.

He was 6 months and then 17months

Myself on the other hand have just started to let myself get excited  

much to the relief of my friends lol

  I haven't even started to write a list yet, well I started one but I lost it and cant remember what was on it so I have to start again.

So tell me.

What do I need to entertain the small male man on the plane.

Last time we had a telly in the seat in front so we paid for that and he was content with that and some books.

This time its a bit different. 

He's older now and he likes to move.

This time he has his own seat thank goodness and he got a small suit case from Santa last Christmas intended for the plane trip, clever man that Santa.

So I can fill it up with all things small male likes.

But what do you recommend?

What should I not travel without?

What should I not bother with?

x

Learning to be a sideline Mumma

I've mentioned before the my son does swimming lessons, he has done them since he was 6 months old he has loved most of every minute of it. I say most of it because there was a stage there where he would Koala hug me while we were in the water for about 5 lessons. That was hell but the screaming was worse.

This year he has been in the transition group where they spend 3/4 of the class in the big pool with their adult and then the other 1/4 in the little pool with their swim coach.

A couple of weeks ago it was discussed that he is old enough to go to the next stage of lessons where they spend the whole time in the little pool with just their coach and I sit on the side lines. sigh.

I took a deep breathe and swallowed that information. But since starting the transition classes his time in the big pool has become more and more stressful because he has realised that there is meant to be a bottom of the pool and that he cant touch the bottom of the big pool. The terrified look in his eyes is so sad.

It was getting to a point that I was just waiting for the okay for him to go to the next stage. But I didn't want to wish this time away. Once he changes groups, that's it, he doesn't need me for swimming any more. I enjoy the times we spend in the pool. I enjoy the water and I love encouraging him to commit to those challenges, like jumping off the mat and diving off the wall and when he does the the pure joy and look on his face of 'yes I did it' is fabulous.

So today was another one of those lessons were I couldn't convince him otherwise and then he started asking to go in the other pool. Right decision made time to move up. He LOVES the water and is always chomping at the bit to get in. but he is just not enjoying the time in the big pool any more.

So next week is his first class in the little pool all by himself. I am going to feel a bit lost not butting my swimmers on before we go, I'm going to feel a little lost just sitting on the side line.

Although I wont need to take as many towels so that's a plus, I wont freeze my but off drying him and getting him dressed before my self that's a plus.

I'm so proud of him for getting where he is. 

I cant wait to watch him grow more by achieving new things in the little pool.

But its now time for me to be a sideline Mumma.

I hope I dont cry.

Do your little ones swim?

Are they uber confident in the water?

Would love to hear from you 

x