Friday, 31 January 2014

A letter to you... again.

I'm still processing thoughts.

This experience has been massive.

I have learnt so much about myself.

I lay in bed at night thinking about most things of the day.

Sometimes, sometimes I get stuck in a thought spiral... 


Remembering things that I can not un-see...

Remembering feelings I can not un-feel.

Having those thoughts and feelings feel as real as they did the first time...

My heart races.

It beats so high in my chest it feels like its going to pop right out...

My body tightens...

Anxiety takes hold.

I become wide awake.

I want you to swear and promise and beg that it will never EVER happen again.

But its not enough

Now I lay here

My thigh muscles throb...

My feet ache...

My breath slows but my chest hurts...

My eyes sting from the tears that try to come out, but they don't.

I beg for sleep to come.

But it doesn't.

Your comments are not only awesome! They are inspiring!
Thank you.


  1. I've read, and re-read this a few times. And today, again. I cannot find the right words. But then I thought if I say nothing, you won't know that I'm thinking of you, and sending strength and love your way. So here I am, with nothing much to share... but now, at least, you know. X


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