Saturday 3 May 2014

Not broken... just bent

Yes this was published the other day... but only for a short time... I chickened out and pulled it down... but now I think it is time.

When one is faced with a decision, that they never thought they would have to even contemplate.

It is easier just to run and to just hide... to shut it all down and just wish it would all go away.


And last year that is exactly what happened. 


When my youngest babe was just a mere 15 weeks, I discovered that my Husband had been doing things that a Husband... a committed one... should not have been doing.


He made the wrong choices, and those choices have affected our marriage, our family and our way of life.


The last 6 months has been hard. 


Bloody hard.


There have been more bad days then good.


And that sucks... it feels as if my babes first year has been marred in some way

There have been days where I have not wanted to leave the house. 


So we don't... 


There have been days where I have challenged myself. 


There have been days were I have thought... this is just too much, it shouldn't be like this... there has to be better out there... better people who would make better choices.


Promises have been made / broken / and re made all over again... because we are learning, we are just two people, who are just trying to figure out how to make it right.


You are right... I probably should of just left, why should I put up with that shiz...


Well I made a commitment, and yes he did too. But... I think and feel it is worth... just trying to work it out.


And at the end of the day... 


There was love there once, and I am sure it is still there somewhere...


But when ones trust has been broken...


It just might take some time to learn to love again. 



Image



Posts that have lead to this one... here and here





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2 comments:

  1. What a brave post. I hope in release these thoughts you feel a little lighter. Your mind, a little clearer. It's a heavy weight to have to bear. Keep listening to your heart. Let it guide you. It will take you where you ought to be and with who you ought to be with. X

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