Monday, 29 September 2014

All of the feels.

Yesterday... I woke up with all of the feels.

- All of the, negative thoughts

- All of the, anxiety of all the people who pretend to want to know us but let us down or are just plain full of it.

- All of the, where is my head at thoughts

- All of the, pregnancy thoughts

- All of the, things the OBs are saying.

- All of the, added financial pressure that comes at this time of year.

- All of the, almost tears that put pressure behind your eyes that they feel like they are going to fall out of you head.

- All of the, almost 25 week gestation anxiety

- All of the, previous lost pregnancy anxiety.

- All of the, monotony of 'this part of life'.

- All of the, I'm turning thirty next year but don't feel like I've achieved/inspired/'done' anything outside of creating/raising my tiny humans.

- All of the, am I doing enough for my children?

- All of the, is my house/car/space going to be big enough for all of these people

I knew as this time of year approached it would be tough emotionally. 
I knew a lot of last years annual activities would be a reminder of choices that were made and it would all come smashing back in taking up valuable real estate in my brain matter.

But it is even tougher, then I thought it would be. I cant explain how, it just has been.

But today... today I have woken up with that feeling of a hangover, you know the emotional hang over that can happen.

But today, I feel as if I needed yesterday a day just just be within, to be spoken with, to be listened to, to carry around my wings (that represent my five lost babes) that were sent to me by Reannon and to just potter around and be with my people

Today though...

Today, the doors and windows are open just like yesterday, but it feels different... fresher

Today, maintenance Monday is in full swing.

Today, I have just whipped up #anne and she is in the oven.

Today, I confirmed my appointment with my outside of my brain help

Today, is a new day its the day where I step back up to that rung that I slipped off over the weekend.

Because I have a habit of feeling ALL of the feels. All at one time.

I found this on Pinterest, I couldn't find where it originally came from though. Sorry

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