Thursday, 26 July 2012

Thinking what if...

This is inspired by the beautiful Cherie from Raising Master Max. She wrote a post this morning about even though she was fearlessly independent she was longing to move back to her home town since having her son. 

I could emphasise with her this morning.
My story is similar but totally opposite at the same time.

When we were 18 Hubby moved some 3.5 hours away to study and I stayed behind to study closer to my parents home.
I spent E.V.E.R.Y weekend traveling back and forth like the dedicated Girlfriend that I was.
It was our place we could be who ever we wanted up there we had a new beginning and could make a real go of it.
I transferred and moved up there the next school year and we lived together, with a house mate who we only really saw when he wanted food, or to whinge about something.

I was terribly home sick and missed my family and had realised that the 'friends' that I had made were only friends who wanted to use our house for all aspects of partying and food scrounging type uses. 

Moving back was not an option.

I had made the move and I was going to make it work. I had gotten a job and started to get to know people out side of the 'group' that I was living in.
OBVIOUSLY I still loved my now husband I just wasn't into the whole party thing and needed to find some 'more me' people.

Yet the home sickness continued.

One day I had a thought to go down the local RSPCA and have a look. I waited and waited for hubby to come home and it was getting closer to closing time and he was home with 15 mins to spare 

Lets go I said

We wont make it, we will go tomorrow he said

Get in the car! I said

We made it there with just time to spare and we were walked around and got to have a look at all the dogs and it was noisy and it wasn't as stinky as I thought it would be. 

There were big and little, round and short, curly and fluffy, jumpy and licky, flippy and fussy

then there was her. 

Just laying there, all curled up in a ball against the fence to her pen with her back to us looking like she wished the noise would just stop. wishing the day away so that every one would go to sleep so that she could really get some rest. 

she was perfect and we hadn't even met. 

She was beautiful and so slow moving which was surprising to see for an 2 year old border collie. 

The decision was made she was coming home with us... but they would let her. We had to sign paper work and they said that if she was still here tomorrow we could have her {whats with that}
Pulling of the drive way names were discussed and one was agreed on. 
I didn't sleep. 
Work was hell.
Knock off couldn't come quick enough. 
We both deliberately finished early that day, not talking to each other about doing so. We both pulled into the drive way at the same time and just looked at each other and got into one car and drove to the centre. 
To see if she was still there, we were let in and we walked down to her pen with big smiles on our face full of excitement and hope.

She was gone.

My heart fell from my chest.

I knew I should not have gotten my hopes up. 

But its okay. 

She was going through her last test, she was out the back. 

She was OURS.
That's her on the left, she will be ten this August

SO many things happened to us in the year that followed so many good, good things and there were not so good things. 
I made friends with people at work and I was really feeling comfortable with were I was at. 

Then phone calls Were coming from home? When are you coming back? Did you know Grandpa had been in the hospital {hes fine by the way}, WHEN are you coming back? 

I have a job for you...


SO in 4 days I moved back to where I am from and started a new job {with my old boss} and left now hubby behind.
He moved down eventually and bought her with him. MY family was back together, with my traditional family starting a new working life with family around me but something wasn't right. 

I am constantly reminded by my friend that is still living up there of the great life and the great fun that it is and receiving messages of houses that would be suited to us that are up there. 

We are also constantly looking on real estate sites for houses that might just convince us to sell up and go.


What if we are just holding on to how good it was, what if we are just holding on to the good times.

We are always constantly talking about moving back, but we have so much here, family, friends, our house, 
our sons WHOLE world is here. 
BUT we constantly long for this one place where we wished we had stayed. 
THOUGH who is to say it will be the same, who is to say it will be just like we remember and because we dont to ruin such fabulous memories we stay here...

...thinking what if…

Do you have a place you wish you had stayed?
Do you have somewhere you want to move to?
Have you adopted a pet?

Tell me everything...


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