F.Y.I this might be T.M.I

The past couple of weeks months have been tough {I've mentioned it briefly before I know} but for some reason I feel like writing about it.

I have medical issues... I see the doc a lot... A LOT
{FYI i DISLIKE waiting rooms it wouldn't be an odd sight to see me with 3 THREE bottles of hand sanitizer in my car}
 
I have germ issues... Ive been heard to say "I don't do germs"
 
I have trouble expressing myself to ppl for fear of conflict/judgement
 
I get along better with guys then girls, just the way it is I guess.

but in saying that...
I have always had trouble with friends... I don't know its just me and since having my son Ive learnt a lot about me and this is just one of those things... 
 
I have this friend Ive known her for a long time. She would be my longest friend bar maybe a handful from high school that I have recently gotten back in contact with.
 
When asked to describe me. She would IMMEDIATELY say without hesitation, without a bat of the eye lid... 
'oh Tara, shes a Prude [PAUSE] and a Bitch [PAUSE] BUT she is incredibly shy'
...righto...
...Cant argue with that...

Love that girl

I was bullied throughout my ENTIRE schooling life

I FEAR that my son will have the same issues as me {friends wise/school wise} WHICH brings tears to my eyes just thinking about.

Choosing the right kinder & school is BIG on my list right now

Im emotional. The doc says thats got to do with my issues, but I've been a 'oh my god Oprah {spelt HARPO to make sure I had that right just then} just gave them all a car, Dr Chris just saved that puppy, Oh my god I hate that work safe ad' Crier all my life.

I have weight issues which is a combination of health issues from above and chocolate

When starting this blog I was unsure how I was to use it

* how much do I share

* does anyone care how much I share

* does any one care what I have to say

Then I thought I read other blogs A LOT lately some have helped, some have been purely for the step out of reality for a second type of entertainment  some have sparked my creative side.

So maybe my odd ramblings might help someone else... maybe, & if not at least my self.

I know I have tickets on myself and consider myself TOTALLY AMAZEBALLS! {word of the month you should join the club we're printing t-shirts} But there are days where things just feel like I get so far from the start and have to go back & and basically rethink and start again. 

IF ONLY MY FINGERS WOULD WORK PROPERLY. Im sitting here wrapped in a blanket with my little icicles fingers sticking out the front REFUSING to put the heater on because I refuse to believe the warmth is over AND I don't want to wake my loves snoring in the next room.

Anyways...

I made myself write a list of things I love and Not so Love about myself.

You know what its hard to write about what I genuinely love about myself.... Not so love, well I feel I could write a page in one motion but to sit and generally write about what i love... geebus... thats hard.

I would have loved to write a list of things to go below of all the soppy love love stuff that I do love/like blah blah but Im a realist and Im not there right now.

YOUR RAMBLING TARA

Right sorry

SO I came up with this...

My name is Tara, 

I'm a Gemini [explains a lot]  

I am almost 27 TWENTY SEVEN!

I slightly freaked about that last night at about 3.30 thats the first time I've ever freaked about my age.

I love LOVE my family of three, colour, paper, clouds and bubbles, I am not seen without a camera in hand/pocket/bra strap/bag. 

I love to cook/bake and get pleasure from ppl enjoying something that I have made from scratch.

I love the warmth of the sun on my back and the freedom of the beach. 

I am lucky enough to be a full time mum at home while my wonderful husby works his but off for us.

Some of that was slightly about me...right?

I have set myself some challenges/promises this week. 

Various things... Things for myself... Things that I hope make me love things about me...HA!

Im hoping to blog a bit more...
time with a busy two year old is a bit scarce but I'll make it work after all I am AMAZEBALLS{t-shirts}.

Challenge/Promise 1- Sort out all the photos on the bottom shelf in the craft cupboard {wish I had taken a photo... kinda forgot about that bit tho}

Challenge/Promise 2- get up to date with my sons albums... THAT IS 2 YEARS and {wait 6,7,8} NINE MONTHS worth of stuff/photos to sort, organise, prioritise all that bizzo.

Challenge/Promise 3- Do those scrap-booking layouts that when you took the photos you said "that'd be good to scrap like this" for some reason that said in a high pitched voice

Challenge/Promise A- Make a decorative piece for the home

Challenge/Promise B- Get the sewing machine OUT and make the things that you wanted to make with the material that you bought a cpl of weeks ago... its RED like FIRE ENGINE red.

Okay so reality is... there is a high like Eureka tower high possible chance that these may not be done in a week... BUT I Started the first three on Friday soooo things are looking UP!

Stick with me...please... <<<this IS going to be fun>>>

What do you do thats just for you?

How do you get yourself out of THAT rut?

Would L.O.V.E to hear from you...

Right Im off to edit some photos for my PL week :)

Tara x